Shattered Dreams, New Hope: First Aid for Parents Whose Son or Daughter Has Embraced an LGBTQ+ Identity (Print)

This parents' curriculum is available as a free digital download. 

Shattered Dreams, New Hope is written for Christian parents whose child identifies as LGBTQ+ and does not desire to live in accordance with God’s Word.

The curriculum is organized in three parts: "Discovering Your Child," "Caring for Your Heart," and "Moving Toward Your Child."

In "Discovering Your Child," you'll explore Harvest USA's Tree Model, and you'll learn about the five elements of your child’s life that may explain why and how they've made some of their decisions. This section will help you see your child more comprehensively, and it will give you a vision for areas in your child’s life that God may want to change or heal.

In "Caring for Your Heart," you'll focus primarily on your experience since first learning about your child’s issue. This section is very important because parents often neglect to get the help they need. When a child comes "out of the closet," many parents go "into the closet" to keep others from seeing their pain. This section will help parents explore their emotions, fears, and doubts so they might experience the freedom to mourn, grieve, and heal.

Finally, in "Moving Toward Your Child," you'll learn practical wisdom for how to pursue your child, love them compassionately and intelligently, and enter their world while also inviting them into yours. This section will consider the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) and how the love that you receive from God informs and empowers the love that you can show your son or daughter.

We designed the curriculum for parents to work through individually, with a spouse or friend, or in a support group setting. The curriculum will also be useful to church leaders and laypeople who are walking alongside a hurting parent or seeking to facilitate a support group in their local church. Throughout each chapter, questions are included to guide personal reflection and/or group discussion.

VIDEOS

The following three videos provide instruction on how to use Shattered Dreams, New Hope.

"Orientation to Shattered Dreams, New Hope" (Supplemental Video 1)

"Outline of Shattered Dreams, New Hope" (Supplemental Video 2)

"Walking with Parents Whose Children Identify as LGBTQ+" (Supplemental Video 3)

AUTHOR

Shattered Dreams, New Hope was inspired, written, and organized by several Harvest USA staff. We are grateful for their collective wisdom and ministry experience that shaped this resource and made it possible!   

ENDORSEMENTS

“When addressing homosexuality, we sometimes turn secondary issues into core ones, but Shattered Dreams, New Hope does no such thing. This immensely helpful resource begins by laying a theological foundation with the Tree Model, explaining that the sinful heart is the seed and sinful desires the roots. Why is this so extraordinary? Because if sin is the problem, then Christ is the answer. If you are a parent of a child who identifies as LGBTQ+, this gospel-centric curriculum will encourage, equip, and empower you to be an ambassador for Christ as you point your prodigal to the only One who redeems and offers life in abundance!”

– Christopher Yuan, DMin, Speaker and Author of Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God, A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope, and Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story

“Harvest USA has given us a reliable guide to complex matters. Here you will find Scripture that touches down, at just the right time, into specific words you can speak and action steps you can take.”

– Ed Welch, Counselor and Faculty Member, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

“If you are turning to Shattered Dreams, New Hope for answers, then you seek more than mere information. You want real help, genuine empathy, relatable examples, biblical counsel, and solid gospel hope. This curriculum, along with good information, contains all of these to help you deal with your child’s identity and to cope with the range of emotions that every loving parent in this situation experiences.”

– Parent of a son who identifies as gay

“When our son came out, we were thrown into deep pain, fear, confusion, and anger. We were so thankful to find a biblical resource for parents like us. The study guided us as we processed our grief, challenged us to think about our son as God would have us to, and continually pointed us to the Lord and his Word as our source of help and hope.”

– Kevin and Candice, Parents of a son who identifies as transgender

“As a parent, I would have loved to have this resource twelve years ago when our daughter came home and shared with us that she was gay. As a parent support group leader, I would have used it as a resource when I started the group ten years ago. Shattered Dreams, New Hope is very well written and in a format that is easy to read and understand, with well-researched information, compassion, and grace. I highly recommend it to all parents, group leaders, pastors, youth pastors, and anyone who is struggling with sexual identity or unwanted same-sex attraction.”

– Judy Schoolfield, Parent of a daughter who identifies as gay

“With the knowledge that the battle for children’s hearts is spiritual, Shattered Dreams, New Hope speaks solid biblical truth, balanced with grace, to many parents in the church today. Timely, wise, and pastoral, this curriculum provides comfort, hope, and encouragement while richly communicating what parental faith, Christ-likeness, and perseverance look like for those who, in the midst of struggle, heartache, and pain, seek to love both God and their children well.”

– Cynthia Lewis, Mother of a child who has repented and is living faithfully, and Co-facilitator of a support group for moms

“This curriculum addresses not only our grief—allowing us to process the pain surrounding our child’s same-sex attraction in meaningful and in scripturally-sound ways—but points us to self-exploration that ultimately helps us to love our child well. We are better able to understand our child’s sinful heart, as well as our own, and learn to relate to our child from a posture of humility and compassion.”

– Parents of a daughter who identifies as gay

“This thoughtful study magnified God’s invitation to experience his love, hope, and redemption in one of the most significant journeys of my life. Many of us ask, “How do we interact with our children in loving respect when they disagree on matters of sexuality?” With biblical truth, Harvest USA sensitively handles the questions of parents whose children identify as LGBTQ+, while encouraging us to repent humbly, like the Prodigal Son, and to love our children extravagantly like the Father.”

– Cyndi McCallister, Parent and parents’ support group leader with Living Oaks Ministry