When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart

In this helpful guide by Vicki Tiede, women are gently reminded to turn to God and away from despair. When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography addresses the struggles women experience when they are shattered, betrayed, and alone.

Writing from personal experience, Vicki offers daily readings and questions on six important topics: hope, surrender, trust, identity, brokenness, and forgiveness. 

Vicki also shares the stories of twenty-five women who have known the anguish of a husband's addiction to pornography. She comforts her readers by pointing them to the One who calms the raging seas, and she helps readers grow in healing and hope in the midst of their unique marriage trials.

Questions and daily readings are suitable for both individuals and small groups.

For Vicki, faithful discipleship meant saying “yes” when God called her to write this gospel-centered book on the painful issue of pornography in marriage. “Women often want to focus on the sin and attempt to 'fix' the problem. But I want to point hurting wives of pornography addicts toward the God of hope,” Vicki explains. “His Word has a thing or two to say about overcoming the painful ramifications of her husband’s betrayal, and cleansing her mind and heart of the hurtful, and perhaps graphic things she has seen, heard, said, and felt. I believe God can and will do beautiful things with the broken pieces of your heart, if you turn to him for healing.”

AUTHOR

Vicki Tiede (MEd, MMin) is a Bible teacher, conference speaker, and author. Her passion is to share God’s grace and faithfulness with women through the Scriptures. She is also a wife, homeschooling mom, a women’s ministries coordinator at her local church, and the author of the minibook, Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing After Betrayal.

ENDORSEMENTS

"Vicki Tiede guides, comforts, and encourages hurting and heart-bruised wives to 'fix your eyes on the One who calms the storms and stills the raging seas, and find peace in the midst of it all.' I've been refreshed and helped in my own ministry to hurting women by this book which clearly and compassionately points us to the grace of Jesus Christ and the healing power of his Word."
– Ellen Mary Dykas, Women's Ministry Coordinator at Harvest USA; author of Sexual Sanity for Women

"A porn plague is raging in homes across the world today, and for every addicted husband there is a brokenhearted wife. While there is an abundance of powerful, biblical resources to help men overcome addiction, their wives have largely been overlooked. I am grateful that Vicki Tiede has filled that void. In a book that is sensitive, biblical, and conversational, she comes alongside hurting women as a friend and guides them to the hope and peace only the gospel can give."
– Tim Challies, Author; pastor; blogger at Challies.com

"Vicki Tiede's book provides hope, help, and a pathway to healing for women marred by their husband's addiction to pornography. Based on biblical principles, this resource can aid the reader to become a victor rather than a victim."
– Josh McDowell, Speaker; best-selling author; Josh.org

"Vicki Tiede has done an extraordinary job of describing one of the 'hidden sins' in our churches and culture that destroys marriages and causes deep anguish. She shares the stories of twenty-five women who have known this pain; and she gives poignant, biblical advice on a workable plan of action. Vicki's willingness to tell her own story makes this book shine with warmth, depth, and renewed hope. If you are struggling with the problem personally or if you counsel people who do, read this book!"
– Carol Kent, Speaker; author of Between a Rock and a Grace Place

"There is no doubt that pornography has created a tsunami of personal and relational pain. While culture might suggest that it is normal, the trauma that it creates in marriages suggests that it is not healthy. Vicki brings her extensive experience in Bible teaching to provide hope and healing for spouses who have been betrayed by pornography addiction. Her use of Scripture gently reminds spouses to lean into God's truths: He will provide, protect, and walk alongside all those who are hurting; you are not alone."
– Debbie Laaser, LAMFT; author of Shattered Vows

"When your world is rocked by your husband's infidelity, God can seem far away and Scripture dry. This book will be a breath of fresh air during those days. Having been in that situation, Vicki earns the right to challenge us to turn to the true Source of our hope, strength, and healing. Her blend of hopeful stories, helpful information, and pure Bible study fills a gap in the healing journey not seen in other materials."
– Melissa Williams, Women's Director, Pure Life Alliance

"Women whose husbands are ensnared in pornography often live isolated lives, feeling powerless to solve the problem, with few if any good options. Too often they are also burdened by false guilt and feelings of responsibility for the actions of their spouse. Vicki Tiede experienced this in her first marriage, but found healing as she relied on Scripture and the body of Christ. This book tells her story and provides specific helps for women to understand their situation accurately, respond biblically, and rely on Christ and his people as they seek to deal with their husbands with integrity and love. Her thoughtful, searching questions allow readers to explore their own hearts with the Lord. Tiede is honest, compassionate, realistic, faith-filled, and Scripture-saturated. Anyone facing this situation—or trying to help those who are—should read this book."
– Ron Lutz, DMin, Former Senior Pastor, New Life Presbyterian, Dresher, PA

"This is an outstanding, significant, invaluable, and essential resource for today's women and particularly today's Christian women. (I am confident that men would benefit from reading it also.) Vicki presents hard information in a most gracious and gentle way. She is relational and honestly cares about the women who will be reading. She conveys an earnest desire to be a comforting resource to those suffering with a wounded heart. I recommend this book as a source of comfort, strength, and hope. It is saturated with Scripture and prayer."
– Elsie E. Woolf, MA, Board Certified Christian Counselor, National Coalition For Purity

"Heartfelt, restoration, and complete are the words I would use to describe this book. It is by far the most thorough book on helping a woman deal with her husband's struggle with pornography.  As I read the book, I could see the restoration happening in women's lives. Each chapter (week) leads you to the next step in getting your life and relationship to God back on track. Vicki's comment at the beginning of the book is, "The purpose of this book is to take you on a journey to discover how your broken heart can become a work of splendor in the masterful hands of God." As a man who has broken trust with his own wife, this book made me realize that it was important for me to see the full betrayal this addiction has on a marriage. My recommendation is that every man who is serious about restoring his relationship with his wife reads this book after his wife has finished it. He will see his pornography addiction in a completely different way, and that will be a good thing."
– Brent Barrowcliff, Transparent Ministries, Freedom Begins Here

"Vicki Tiede has come alongside the millions of wives whose husbands are addicted to porn, to bind up their broken hearts and give them hope–as only one who has been there can."
– Bob Tiede, Director of Global Operations Leadership Development for Campus Crusade for Christ International

"If you are one of the increasing numbers of women who have discovered their husband losing the battle with pornography, Vicki Tiede gives you an informed, practical guide offering Christ-centered hope and restoration. Be sure to make this book a part of your journey to healing."
– Michael John Cusick, Author of Surfing for God: Discovering Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle

"I will recommend this book for women to read. It will serve as a valued addition to therapy, and the thoughtful questions interspersed throughout the book are rich opportunities for exploring feelings, truth, and faith further. The author has an easy to read writing style and has tackled a difficult subject with grace and truth."
– Margaret P. Moore, MA, LMFT, LADC, RN, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Experiencing Moore, LLC